Clinical?

Here I am, blogging again after previous updates (which was ages ago I know)..

Just finished my 1-week holiday and I am back to Sandakan. It was a simple yet awesome holiday for me.  As time goes, I learned to appreciate those little things which seem unimportant but truly warm me. Hanging out with friends which I have known since primary school (you’re right, since PRIMARY school), meeting up with other uni’s close friends, movie-dating with whole family, shopping spree, randomly changing the TV channels as long as I like (Yes I LOVE to do this) and the list goes down….all these moments count, these are the times which I treasure a lot. (Ok I am babbling now)

Trying to recall the days when I attached to clinical. From early May to end of June, I have attached to total of 4 wards. I know that there are differences between hospitals as my friends told me their clinical attachment lasted for 6 weeks. Anyway, I started my clinical in Male Medical Ward followed by Female Medical Ward, Paediatric, and ICU. Honestly I was stressed up during that period, but who doesn’t stress up? So I should not complain and try my best instead. 

This was the period where I found myself with serious lack-of competency. Knowledge wise I felt inferior but I learned as much as I could to perform my work.  I get to expose to various types of clinical diseases and their managements. One could not always manage two patients of same diagnosis with same approaches. I learned to think wider, or what we call it as treating the patient holistically. I tend to make judgments without taking into ALL considerations. For example, when need to be cautioned on patient’s renal dosage adjustment,   I need to consider on the disease itself as well as drug-drug interactions. Of course there are much more factors which we need to be concerned. Most of the times, it was ward pharmacists who noticed “something wrong” and made interventions with doctors.

Clinical is challenging, but interesting at the same time. The feeling of able to help patients who are suffering made the job worthy. Funny things or “special” patients do exist but it all depends on how I cope with and perhaps my attitude towards all these unexpected issues. Sometimes I do get tired, with the constant pressure which I put myself on; I did wish to end clinical attachment soon.

 I think part of the reason which I hoped to end my clinical soon towards the end of my attachment was because of the last ward I have attached toàICU. It wasn’t because of the work load or the people I have worked with there. Indeed I found other health care professionals to be very kind to me.  It was because I found myself to be “emotionally-unstable” when working there. I have seen intubated patients whom self-extubated and forced to be re-intubated, patient who was being tied up because of restlessness and aggressive behaviours, and patients with SVT or asystole who could not make it. All these made me to feel super helpless as a pharmacist. The most sensitive trigger factor for my fluctuating emotions was family members who visited the patients. I just couldn’t bear with them calling the patient’s names when patient was unconscious or sedated. The worst was the tears from family members, with the hopeless feeling that their loved one will be gone anytime. =(. Anyhow, attachment in ICU has taught me how multidisciplinary teams cooperate like how anaesthetic team discuss the management plan with Medical team. There is still so much more to learn!

 I admire all the ward pharmacists in hospitals (any hospitals), for their working spirits in performing daily tasks and their endurances. I think I would find clinical more interesting if there is no clerking-cases requirement. XD.  

Changing my topic away from my clinical attachment, I randomly bought a book written by Rhonda Byrne. Title with The MAGIC. I did not read The Secret  nor The Power written by her. Hopefully I will gain something from this book.  Saw a quote from the book, would like to end my post with it

“Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty”. I am in the progress of learning to complain less.

Cheers