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Saturday, August 9, 2014

System down



The stress level exceed my usual threshold, hence a post here.

Have been wondering for a question since I took over current department for long: how the system and applications have been working in past?  It really upset me recently after I realized how the system USED to work and how it is NOT for now since recent years. What is the point if I keep on pushing for the proper system/workflow while the rest have been comfortably escaped from the “Should-do” part? The frustration haunted me since then. What drove me more annoyed is the ignorance of some groups whom just issues statement or reminder without enforcing the proper system.

I deal mostly with documentation daily. It did make me feel like losing a role in such system when I have no power to control the superior ones to follow those simple procedures. In the end, same question again, what is my stand and what is the point if I work hard to push all these while other parties sometimes follow and most of the times did not?

*No point to raise this issue to higher authority as I foresee the reply already”

I.am.stuck. I could be ignorant and just let go. But this would not be the way I want.
Psychological instability leads to reduced efficiency. Great *sarcastically”

Proper System/Work flow? Nah….

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Babble



Perhaps it is human’s nature to magnify errors and negativeness instead of appreciating efforts and motivation.

Things which cross my mind recently

-Colleagues tend to remember how frequent you applied annual leaves or hours-off but not how frequent you stayed back for extra work. Even though you worked very hard for the period before you went on annual leave.

-Do not simply believe in words mentioned by others. Sometimes (MANY times), it could be just plainly blank promises or words to comfort you temporarily. Always be caution. I am not encouraging you (if you’re reading this) to be always suspicion towards others. This is more applicable to working environment. Real case witnessed or heard and this definitely changed my perspective of handling words during conversations. =/

-I really need to put up my effort and courage to say NO. =(. It is been some time, which I feel that I am doing more than what I am supposed to. This sounds like I am the lazy one who refuses to do extra work/tasks. Believe me, as time goes, with experiences gained here, I learnt the fact that I am not superwoman who could handle so many tasks. In fact, focusing on the core works and excel in them is much better than juggling all kinds of random tasks without full commitment to each. But….yeah…I am stuck in this situation now. It is forever easy to just say/declare what you (or ME) think you should do but DIFFICULT to reject when it comes to face-to-face situation.  (Difference between expectations and real-life situations).

-You will not truly understand another person’s feeling when you’re not in their shoes. So, I have long given up saying: “I understand how it feels”. One will never understand that unless she/he is in the same circumstance. All of us have different types of problems and stresses in different departments, what I can do is to only listen without much helpful actions. Sometimes this stop me from babbling, people has their own problems so why bother them with yours? 

-Things change with time. It is indeed a solid fact. It still upset me when I realized the friendships built have gradually changed, with distance growing between each other. What makes thing worse is that I often put the blame on myself. Maybe it was me who caused this to happen? Maybe it was because work-related issues which caused dissatisfactions on me?...
Feeling emotionally unstable recently and I know it is bad. It affects my efficiency and productivity. I am trying best to find passion and interest in current working environment. However, with less and less patients’ contact/communication and more and more documentations/clerk’s works, I wonder how long would I be able to stay? Attitude plays vital role here, and I am still adjusting to stay motivated and positive (kind of like failing on this)

Just a random post anyway.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Krabi-Day 2

Day 2 in Krabi

We have booked a joined tour to Phi Phi Island by speedboat. Had our breakfast in resort and started out at 8.30am. The tour was quite a big group with around 35 persons. We gathered at another beach (which I forgot its name) and started out at 9plus.

4 of us got sun burn at different parts of body after first day so we were kinda phobia to get it again. This leads to the constant reapplication of sun blocks which other tourists found us weird (can sense from their look).

I did not check on the time during the tour. We took maybe around  30 minutes to reach Bamboo Island where we were allocated 30 minutes to snorkel there. Bamboo island is a snorkeling hot spot but I didn't manage to see many things compared with my other 2 friends as I was keeping myself near to the shore with another friend. Bamboo Island definitely offers more things to view underwater when compared to the snorkeling session of our first day.

After Bamboo Island, we went to Marina Bay where the sea water was crystal clear and the beach was crowded by tourist. Photo session here and some soak-in-sea moments and we were off to Phi Phi Island to have our buffet lunch and then shopping for souvenirs. Honestly the island is very commercialized due to the mass tourists visiting here. Beach was okay but the view was not as beautiful as I have expected. Maybe it was due to the side where the speedboat stopped. If it were to compared with Marina Bay, I would say that Marina Bay is more breathtaking with its really sandy beach. Perhaps it was because we didn't really got to the "real beach" which was crowded by many people as mentioned by reviews in Trip Advisor. (Yes I relied it a lot on planning trips and do recommend to others as it is very useful with people sharing their first-hand experiences)



Viking Cave


Marina Bay



Phi Phi is famous as a snorkeling and diving spot. Although the beach is not as nice as other islands, the snorkeling session here did offer more. We had 2 open-sea snorkeling and I did not stay long for the first one due to the insecurity gained from my life jacket. The buckle underneath which secured the life jacket from floating upwards of me suddenly opened up itself and it did cause me panic as I don't know how to swim (Yes I don't know how to swim but I go for snorkeling!). I manage to buckle it back but somehow I felt insecure after that.


Sea view from Phi Phi Island


Open sea snorkeling




2nd open sea snorkeling, and also our last chance to snorkel was allocated for us for 40 minutes and this time I stayed for the longest compared with my other friends. Tried my best to view as much as possible together with the constant fear with me. Views underwater were beautiful.

It was a long day for us but this was not the end of our day 2 (definitely not for me)

Went back resort to get ourselves ready for dinner which was included in our resort- stay. Dinner was tasty and tom yam was the highlight. I could not bear with the spiciness but my friends love it. We headed to Ao Nang again after dinner and walked through the street to get souvenirs. Pre-booking for massage on day 3 was made and we were glad that there were still slots available. It started to drizzle after that but me and another friend were quite reluctant to go back. We went to a bar with live band instead and the music was good. What spoiled our mood was the smoking there which caused my friend to storm out from the bar as she was unable to bear with the heavy smoke. How I wish they don't smoke and just enjoy the music and alcohols.

Surprisingly I wasn't that tired as I have expected on day 2. Another 2 friends reached their limits and we ordered Tuk-tuk to go back resort after that.



Krabi-Day 1

A traveling post here. =)


Just finished my 4D3N trip at Krabi and I am back to Sandakan. Looking much more tanned now.

Holiday mood did not start until Saturday morning as I was still working on Friday and got my flight to KL on that night. 4 of us had travelled from different states to meet at KL and all of us were exhausted. Thanks to Ying Sin, we were able to crash a night at her place rather than at LCCT. Reached her place at 12 plus a.m. and need to depart to airport again at 5am.

Started to feel excited while flying from KL to Krabi. We have book shuttle service to pick us up from airport to resort. It was the first time where I saw the driver holding a piece of paper with my friend's name written on it and standing there at the arrival hall, just like the scenes which I normally seen in drama.=). The service was good, driver spoke minimum English but still we were still able to communicate with him. Here's the company which we have booked for the shuttle service. http://www.krabishuttle.com/

They replied you promptly and you can choose to pay the deposit either online or cash. We booked the return route with this company again and the driver was late (reached 6.30am instead of 6.00am). The great thing is he still manage to reach the airport at 7am as we wished.

First day in Krabi, we opted the 4-islands tour by long boat. It was a private tour which means we can have our own time exploring the islands. First island was the Tup Island where we were quite amazed by the sandbar which linked the island to another island nearby. We manage to walked across the route and it looked like we were walking on the sea from far. We considered to be lucky to be able to have a walk there as walking was prohibited later due to high tide. Here's a picture showing us.


Sandbar at Tup Island

Spent around 1 hour there and we headed to other island. Chicken Island got its name from its shape. We were allocated some time to snorkel nearby Chicken Island. Honestly I was slightly disappointed by the cloudiness of the sea as I couldn't see anything beneath the sea. There were small colourful fishes swimming around us and I somehow felt they were nicer to been seen above the sea rather than viewing underneath.

3rd island was Poda Island, the sand there was nicer than Tup Island and view was scenic. Seawater was quite clear and there were stalls selling food and a simple open bar there. However we did not snorkel here. Tourists here did not snorkel too and I guess it's not the hot spot. They were just chilling and relaxing like us.
Chicken Island

Fishes swimming around me


Poda Island

Our last stop was not an island actually. It was Phranang Cave. It was much more crowded compared to the previous 3 islands and we saw many long boats selling food there. Tourists were all around. We walked to the cave where there was a small altar with piles of penis-like sticks there. The Goddess is worship by locals there whenever they are out to sea to pray for their safety. As for the penis-like wooden sticks, I don't know the reason behind.
Long boats selling all kinds of food (even tom yam/fried rice)

Our 4-island tour ended at 4plus in the afternoon and we then headed back to resort. Our first proper meal was at a restaurant called Bussaba Thai Restaurant, it is recommeded by Trip Advisor and rated Number 2 (The number 1 was a Steak and Grill restaurant located just beside Bussaba). The driver tool some time to find it but it was totally worthy to be able to dine-in there. Totally love the atmosphere there and also the food! The portion was slightly smaller for us (wonder how the western tourist can have enough of such portion =P) and the prices were slightly above average but we really enjoy having dinner there.

The nice ambiance

Fried chicken with basil leaves, like the taste

Tom Yam!
My friends were exhausted after dinner so we headed back to resort even though it was very early. Hence marked the first day in Krabi.
I will write another post for my following days of travel later. cheers. =)

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Toleration

Have been complaining wee too much recently, till a stage that I got too annoyed and posted a status on fb. Those who knew what happened knew I was indirectly (or directly?) blaming a person. =X
Felt bad to complaint too much, found myself very annoying and grumpy. There were certain days when I tweet-ed many emotional words (mostly with anger). I was pissed off by the attitude.=(. Grateful enough to have a housemate to bear with my grumbles recently. Glad that I am much better now even though the task is not fully settled yet.

Since I have choose to post that status , I should take the consequences of it. Colleagues knew about me got so mad about the person and somehow the person knew it. (Maybe I was really behaving really obvious for last week =X). The atmosphere between me and the person somehow got awkward last week, as I got too tense up and speechless. Well, the storm within myself has ended and now I feel like I am the bad one.=(.  Still, the unsettled work needs to be done by Myself and changing my attitude did help me in facing this. 

In less than 1 month's time I will be ending my prp. Towards the end and yet I have caused this issue. Thinking whether I am the one who was really bad to put a blame on the person but bearing all these with sudden push and expectations as though as I am the sole person doing all these was depressing. Struggling emotionally. What said was said, I couldn't care more. (Really?=/)

Babbling here just to express.

Off to bed.


Sunday, July 21, 2013

Clinical?



Here I am, blogging again after previous updates (which was ages ago I know)..

Just finished my 1-week holiday and I am back to Sandakan. It was a simple yet awesome holiday for me.  As time goes, I learned to appreciate those little things which seem unimportant but truly warm me. Hanging out with friends which I have known since primary school (you’re right, since PRIMARY school), meeting up with other uni’s close friends, movie-dating with whole family, shopping spree, randomly changing the TV channels as long as I like (Yes I LOVE to do this) and the list goes down….all these moments count, these are the times which I treasure a lot. (Ok I am babbling now)

Trying to recall the days when I attached to clinical. From early May to end of June, I have attached to total of 4 wards. I know that there are differences between hospitals as my friends told me their clinical attachment lasted for 6 weeks. Anyway, I started my clinical in Male Medical Ward followed by Female Medical Ward, Paediatric, and ICU. Honestly I was stressed up during that period, but who doesn’t stress up? So I should not complain and try my best instead. 

This was the period where I found myself with serious lack-of competency. Knowledge wise I felt inferior but I learned as much as I could to perform my work.  I get to expose to various types of clinical diseases and their managements. One could not always manage two patients of same diagnosis with same approaches. I learned to think wider, or what we call it as treating the patient holistically. I tend to make judgments without taking into ALL considerations. For example, when need to be cautioned on patient’s renal dosage adjustment,   I need to consider on the disease itself as well as drug-drug interactions. Of course there are much more factors which we need to be concerned. Most of the times, it was ward pharmacists who noticed “something wrong” and made interventions with doctors.

Clinical is challenging, but interesting at the same time. The feeling of able to help patients who are suffering made the job worthy. Funny things or “special” patients do exist but it all depends on how I cope with and perhaps my attitude towards all these unexpected issues. Sometimes I do get tired, with the constant pressure which I put myself on; I did wish to end clinical attachment soon.

 I think part of the reason which I hoped to end my clinical soon towards the end of my attachment was because of the last ward I have attached toàICU. It wasn’t because of the work load or the people I have worked with there. Indeed I found other health care professionals to be very kind to me.  It was because I found myself to be “emotionally-unstable” when working there. I have seen intubated patients whom self-extubated and forced to be re-intubated, patient who was being tied up because of restlessness and aggressive behaviours, and patients with SVT or asystole who could not make it. All these made me to feel super helpless as a pharmacist. The most sensitive trigger factor for my fluctuating emotions was family members who visited the patients. I just couldn’t bear with them calling the patient’s names when patient was unconscious or sedated. The worst was the tears from family members, with the hopeless feeling that their loved one will be gone anytime. =(. Anyhow, attachment in ICU has taught me how multidisciplinary teams cooperate like how anaesthetic team discuss the management plan with Medical team. There is still so much more to learn!

 I admire all the ward pharmacists in hospitals (any hospitals), for their working spirits in performing daily tasks and their endurances. I think I would find clinical more interesting if there is no clerking-cases requirement. XD.  

Changing my topic away from my clinical attachment, I randomly bought a book written by Rhonda Byrne. Title with The MAGIC. I did not read The Secret  nor The Power written by her. Hopefully I will gain something from this book.  Saw a quote from the book, would like to end my post with it

“Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty”. I am in the progress of learning to complain less.

Cheers

Sunday, March 31, 2013

熬夜


难得的熬夜
凌晨三点
听着歌曲
咀嚼论文
写着文字
继续“功课”

=)