Lost

Being in in-patient pharmacy only exposed how incapable and lack of knowledge am I. =(

I have forgotten a lot of things which I have studied and once memorized back in Uni time. What made things worse is I did not get to learn a lot of other things which I am suppose to know compared with other Uni's pharmacy courses. It is not a time to blame my course/my Uni. (In fact I am done blaming with the course.). It is time (too late for now) to buck-up myself with what I am lacking off.

Mistakes, mistakes and again mistakes really made me angry and shamed on myself of not being able to pick-up faster. There is no excuse that I am still new here being that it's my 3rd week already.

Negativeness is overwhelming. Confidence is collapsed. 

Can I just NOT pretend that I am tough enough for few days?=/

The fear for tomorrow may not be disturbing for now. But I am certain that I will ruin my tomorrow due to the serious error I have made.

In past, I will throw myself to bed and manage to sleep when feeling emo. Later on, the purposely-eat-a-lot habit kicked in when I am in low mood. But for now, it is worse as I tend to spend A LOT of money buying stuffs randomly (just happened yesterday) PLUS eat-a-lot.>.<. This is bad...

Pray for tomorrow. Pray for future.

Where will I be?